What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 01.07.2025 00:53
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
One cannot live in the past .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Ask Ethan: What would the Universe be like without dark matter? - Big Think
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I said to her
I was 9 years of age.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Northern Lights Could Be Visible Tonight From These States - Forbes
My life is so biszare .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I was scared of men, in general
WCWS Game 2: Texas Tech evens series with 4-3 win, setting up decisive Game 3 - Yahoo Sports
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
June 27-July 3: New Moon to Crescent Sky Watch - The Weather Channel
All the time i was locked up.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Rare ‘Einstein zig-zag’ sheds light on universe’s hidden forces - The Brighter Side of News
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Jesse Armstrong’s HBO Movie ‘Mountainhead’ Gets Early Release On Max - Deadline
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Critically Panned MindsEye Makes Surprising Debut in First Sales Report - Push Square
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Why did Obito, a supposed "bad person," do good things for Kakashi?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She wouldn,t have been !
Here's The Top 10 Most Expensive Pokémon Cards in Destined Rivals - IGN
He knew the spot.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Would this be the day?
Tulsa, Oklahoma, plans more than $105m in reparations for America's 'hidden' massacre - BBC
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Im still living with it.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Comes on , in middle age.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But it wasn’t much.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
So, i spoilt her more .
Especially a lifetime of it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Why did i forgive my father ?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
This is soul school!.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But, we were locked up after school.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
So whats the point in blame.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
What did i know ?
But ive been too sick for many years..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My family never makes their pension either.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Ive learnt so much.
He resisted the act ,that day.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Who then, do I blame.?
I waited trembling.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
(And it was in our own minds.)
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
We were not on the streets..
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She married twice! .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She was in good health!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I write beautiful poetry .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
When she asked me how she looked .
I was very sick at this time too.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She found it foreign!.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I was seconnd youngest,
She loved him until the end.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I don,t even have a pension.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I could never make a relationship work though!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
And i lived it daily.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
It was going to be , some day.
I think the readers, may guess!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We all went to grammer schools
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I have no regrets .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Put me off passion for life!!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
As i do to all so called friends.?
Was to survive, this bastard.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I will be 64.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!